Being a stay-at-home parent can be a tough but challenging experience. Traditionally, it has been the woman who stays home to raise the children, but there are an increasing number of men who now take on that role.
James Knibbe has been a stay at home dad for the past six years, since his daughter was six months old. Knibbe has raised his daughter, who just started grade one this year, and his step-son, who just turned 11.
Knibbe was working full-time at Nexen Inc. and agreed to quit and stay home full-time. He and his wife Rose felt it was better for one parent to be at home to raise the children and Rose wanted to join her family?s automotive repair business.
Knibbe thinks the best thing about being a stay-at-home dad is all the free time he gets. He doesn?t feel the need to fill up every hour of the day doing chores, and he enjoys the time he gets to read or complete DIY projects around the house.
On the flipside Knibbe said, ?I see my kids and their friends lots. I colour and watch Disney movies with them, and then I put them to bed and realize I have not had a single sentence of communication with an adult all day.?
The work of parenting, according to Knibbe, is more repetitive than challenging and each day can blend into a list of menial tasks that are done over and over again. He believes most men equate their own worth with their accomplishments and it can be difficult and demoralizing for him at times to watch others get promotions and achieve tangible success.
?Not to say I don?t find meaning and value in what I have done. I can see growth in my children, in my relationship with my wife, and in me as a person,? commented Knibbe.
While Knibbe remains the primary care-giver, now that his daughter is in school he has been working from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. each day at his wife?s family business. After six years away he knows he has lost out on making any use of his education and is not certain he wants to return to work full-time at this point.
Knibbe admitted, ?It is nice to feel productive and have my days filled up again.?
Knibbe and his wife did not simply contradict tradition with him being the parent to stay at home and raise the children. Knibbe also dropped his last name and took his wife?s name.
?Since she had a child already, it was easiest to change my last name rather than both of theirs,? Knibbe said.
Barbara Hayward, a first-year administrative information management student, agrees there is certainly the possibility of a woman having the potential to make more money than her husband, such that it would make financial sense for her to work and him to stay at home.
?Personally though, I am more traditional and the idea puts me off,? said Hayward.
Hayward also would not want the man to change his last name to hers and would follow the more traditional route of changing her own.
Mike Balczer, a second-year electrical engineering technology student, was a stay-at-home dad for three years before he came to SAIT. His son?s are now 7 and 10 years old and still complain that he is no longer at home with them full-time.
With Balczer at SAIT full-time and his wife working, they have less time to make home cooked meals. Their children felt it was more fun with dad at home and the food was better.
Balczer and his wife both kept their original last names and their children have a hyphenated names. Balczer feels that changing one?s name is a personal preference and depends on the circumstances.
Balczer said, ?If I could get paid to stay at home with the kids there would be no other job, even if it was bad pay.?
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Source: http://www.theweal.com/2012/11/22/stay-at-home-dads-adjust-to-modern-parenting/
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